This story is easily one of the best WIPS out there. I was immediately drawn in by the plot and writing, but especially by your characters. It is a rare IF that makes me want to romance more than one character (usually two at most), but I have to replay this so many times because I literally want them all! Well done!
This story is truely fantastic and I was delighted to hear of chapter 3 part 1's release. I discovered Within Your Eyes shortly after chapter 2 was released.
Leese Van Laere has my whole heart and I'm terrified of when our secrets are revealed to him. While I'm definitely going to do several playthroughs to see differen't choices, Leese and Gabriel's poly route is my 'canon' and I really like how the poly choices show a budding connection between the two, not just between them and the warden.
I simply can't wait for more, yet I hope you take your time to craft the story you want to tell. Books can take many years to write and I hope you don't hold yourself to a schedule that burns you out. Your story is worth however long it takes to make!
At this point, I don't think we are going to tell them anything. I'm pretty sure that they are going to find out on their own. A passage after finding Lea/Leese in the forest: "She(the warden) is starting to remind her(Lea/Leese) of *her*."
I'm enjoying this game a lot! I appreciate the detailed prose and emphasis on player agency. The story really pulls me in.
I was wondering, though, if there's a downloadable version available? I keep getting stuck, unable to click on menu options because the UI doesn't work well on my mobile device. Since this is a Twine game I was hoping it could be downloaded to run on JoiPlay.
I'm sorry you were having that issue! I'm having some trouble getting a download version to work as it wants to keep replacing the main one. There's probably something I'm missing (I'm very confused with itch.io, I'm so sorry), please bear with me!
Edit: I'm dumb, it needed a different name. It's there now!
fantastic!! lyth/lyari is a brazen little imp draconian and i look forward to seeing how the warden handles their seemingly on-brand, shameless snooping in the future. also harus and the warden's endearingly fickle raven friend are very interesting :DD, and so are the demons skeletons hiding in the warden's closet! 👍 all in all, 10/10, would read ten times over again, ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ x2 = 10 STARS
favorite character would have to be the basilisk that the warden could choose to slay over the other two monsters. 'basilisk' is just one of my favorite words. its etymology is irresistible. and THE mythological basilisk is one of my favorite creatures of myth, and so i could. not. help. myself
just kidding :DD my favorite character is probably lyth/lyari. but do know that i kill that basilisk every single time regardless of who the warden is whatever time around. i'm glad that you included it >:D
lastly, i HIGHLY enjoy the guilt meter, in particular the fact that it's the only meter on the warden's profile page, iirc. it's an interesting little feature that's distinctive to this IN, and i like to think about how its flux will affect the story moving forwards!! wonderful work :D
as a side note, i love the inclusion of an allosexual aromantic option when it comes to determining the warden's sexuality. other INs include it, but not all (understandably!), and so i'm personally glad that yours is among those INs who do :) ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️!!!
this is the best game ive ever found on here omg 😭 the writing is masterful and the story is an absolute gem. i love absolutely everything about it!! the warden's trauma really tugged on my heartstrings and i adore all the characters especially lea 🥺💗 i need to protect her💔!!
i did notice some spelling and grammatical errors during various chapters that came up in the choices, as well as one during the actual story and a single instance where gabriel's gender (set to female) swapped to male. they were pretty rare and all very minor but ill do my best to go back through and report them on your google form!
also! can i ask when you're expecting to put out the next part/chapter, if you have a planned schedule or any idea how long it might take? no rush, and ill be here for it regardless! ive just come to the end of this and its so brilliant im begging
Thank you so much for going the extra mile to create an account and share your thoughts ─ that's incredibly sweet of you! ♥ Your kind words mean a lot to me.
Regarding the spelling and grammatical errors, I truly appreciate your willingness to help out. Please feel free to report them whenever convenient, but remember, there's no pressure to backtrack.
As for the release of Part Two, I don’t have a specific date in mind yet. However, I'm aiming for it to be completed sooner than Part One. During the creation of Part One, I encountered challenges like lack of confidence and writer's block (and maybe a slight addiction to Baldur's Gate 3), which I'm hoping to manage better this time around. Your support and patience as I work through this process are greatly appreciated!
Thank you so much once again for your wonderful words and support!
no worries! the game was good enough i felt obliged 😭
ill report any more errors i find when i replay this after the next update drops!
and thank u for answering time frame question! dont feel any need to rush urself, work at ur own pace and we'll be waiting eagerly for whatever comes next! have confidence in ur writing; it's gorgeous <3
thanks agin for creating such a great game and i cant wait to see what happens next! 💗
Is there a lore reason why the Warden can't have red/ginger hair? Like if it is particular to a certain region or people that aren't in Lenia or something like that? I was making my second read-through character more like myself until I reached that point and went "Oh. It's not there."
It's not a huge deal but I'm curious. Burgundy Red just isn't the same. Very enjoyable and engaging read, by the way.
Cheers! The hair color rarely if ever comes up so it's really not a problem. My lazy solution would be to just call it Red and let people project whichever kind of red onto it. Unless you sometimes have descriptives tied to the colors, in which case it would get annoying for you.
I was honestly more curious to know if there was going to be a region full of gingers somewhere down the line or something! Or it be a special family's trait.
In times like these, your ability come to the forefront. While it takes a heavy toll on you, your ability to inspire and lead others is your greatest asset. It's what helped you prevail against the basilisk and various other monsters when you couldn't see.
Is this a bug? Charisma and teamwork are my lowest stats.
Please disregard this message if you have a distaste for lengthy messages, as I must confess that I couldn't hold back my cascading stream of words 😭.
I am utterly awe-struck and at a loss for words to express the sheer magnificence of this interactive fiction, Its nothing short of extraordinary; Allow me to confess, perhaps for the first time, that the opening quote attributed to the brilliant Fyodor Dostoevsky holds a special place in my heart. His literary prowess has always enchanted me✨.
And oh, dear heavens, let it be known that the POVs of the ROs within this story are incredibly vital, and your masterful writing brings them to life in the most enchanting way. Your impeccable skills in crafting these narratives is truly unparalleled. I find unparalleled joy in devouring every single one of them, and I simply cannot resist singling out the POVs of Leese. He's different 🌝❤️
My dear author, you have bewitched me completely. The allure of Leese's enchanting character is both exhilarating and tormenting, I eagerly anticipate the clicmatic "reveal" that lies ahead.
As a student of psychology, I must confess that I yearn for my university textbooks to captivate me in the same way your beautifully crafted words do. Your intricate and detailed descriptions of emotional transformations and conflicts are an absolute delight to read. Each passage feels like a precious gift.
I am glad by the opportunity we were given to explore the MC's tumultuous past, which unveils a heart-wrenching tale. It becomes clear why she carries herself the way she does, and yet, there is still an air of mystery surrounding her. My mind is teeming with theories that both excite and consume me, so many questions about the parents 💀.
The epic clash with the golem during the journey to the capital was nothing short of awe-inspiring. Let me assure you, dear author, my MC left everyone breathless with her astonishing prowess 😩.
I apologize if I'm rambling, but I hope you can bear with my overflowing. I am truly grateful for the opportunity to immerse myself in such exquisite storytelling.
Thank you so much for your incredibly kind words! I'm so deeply touched and overwhelmed in a good way. It means the world to me to hear how much you've connected with the characters, especially Lee.
I'm glad to hear that the story resonates with you on such a personal level, and that it has even made a connection with you studying psychology (and I wish you the best on your journey!). Admittingly, psychology isn't something I've studied much. I base my characters off real emotions I've felt and experienced, while also researching just enough to ensure some things make sense. You saying that makes me feel a lot better about how I convey the emotions my characters portray. It's also a badge of honor knowing I've successfully made the MC feel like the most fascinating of the cast so far.
Your message is far from rambling! It's a joy to read and truly appreciated. All of these heartfelt messages are what inspire me to keep writing and creating. Thank you again for taking the time to share your thoughts, and I hope the story continues to captivate you in chapters to come!
Thank you for responding ✨. Your ability to convey authentic emotions through your characters is truly remarkable. Knowing that my words have encouraged and inspired you means a lot 💕. I'm eagerly looking forward to the upcoming chapters and where the story takes us next. Thank you for sharing your talent and creating such an impactful narrative!
The update was great, and significantly longer than I was expecting (a wonderful surprise)! Finally knowing what lead the MC to their current trauma was incredibly satisfying. Also, Lea's new height is delicious and the slow-burn is killing me in the best way possible. I can't wait for the 'reveal' with her.
I'm sorry you encountered this error! I just did another test and it seems to be working properly for me. Did you start a new game after the update? If you did start a new game, this error seems to refer to a variable that can be set in Chapter One; could you tell me if you went with Gabriel, or went the solo route and followed the voices?
You might also try clearing your browser cache, as I've heard it can help resolve issues. If you encounter this error again, could you expand the error and screenshot it for me?
Sorry for all the questions. I greatly appreciate your patience and cooperation on the matter and I will do my best to resolve it!
I'm sorry to hear that the issue is still occurring. Despite trying to replicate it with the information you've provided, I haven't been able to do so yet. I will continue looking into this matter.
In the meantime, it might be helpful to try playing the game using a different browser. I've read that some problems can be related to the browser. If the issue also occurs in another browser, it could provide more insights into whether it's related to the game itself.
I truly apologize for the inconvenience and appreciate your patience!
First of all, I really like the story in general, most of the ROs and the level of customization for the MC. I particularly liked the customization when it comes to magical abilities, which I hope will be brought up a lot in future updates, and the backstory between your MC and one of the ROs.
However there was one thing that bugged me quite a bit when I read/played it about a month ago, which I don't know if is changed or not. If y That was in the sex scene with Ly where I had a choice between three different sexual positions/sexual acts and despite this it ended with my MC switching to the opposite position midway through. This made it feel both like my the choice I made for my MC didn't really matter and that the choice was taken away from me as a player/reader and I personally really didn't like that twist at all. It's completely fair if you want the sex scenes to be a particular way, but when you offer a particular option, I expect the story to respect that option instead of deciding that the MCs decide on the opposite course of action, so to speak, halfway through. I'm not saying that the sex scene as it was written won't work for anyone(for what it's worth, I really enjoyed it before the twist), but it would be nice if there was at least an option for readers/players to decide if we actually want the MC to switch things around after all or if we want them to stay in that position., so that those of us who'd prefer that last option can stick with that.
If you'd already taken care of this in the last update, please feel free to ignore what I've written, but if you haven't I just hope you can do something about it sooner or later. As it was, it ruined a lot of my enjoymen of the Ly romance path. There are still two ROs who look really interesting, G and Le, so even if nothing's changed or will change with the Ly sex scene, I'll still be looking forward to the developments of those two romances. But I do hope that we as a players/readers will get the opportunity to at least not switch things up in that scene.
Anyway, I hope my criticism won't discourage you too much. Apart from that point I really enjoyed this IF, like I said, and feel that it has a lot of promise and an approach that I really like.
First and foremost, thank you for taking the time to provide your feedback. I'm grateful to hear that you're enjoying various aspects of the story, and I genuinely appreciate your input!
I'm truly sorry for any unintended surprises in Ly's explicit scenes. It was never my intention to introduce a twist that affected player agency, and most of all, make anyone uncomfortable. If you could specify the scene in question through the Issue Report form, I'll review it to make the necessary changes and improvements. I genuinely apologize for any discomfort this may have caused, and I definitely want to address this issue!
Once again, I appreciate your feedback and thank you so much for bringing this to my attention!
Thank you so much for taking the time to do that! I will rework these scenes to ensure you and other readers have more agency during these moments. If something similar occurred in other variations, I'll make sure to address those as well. Once again, I'm deeply sorry for any discomfort this may have caused and for making your choice feel insignificant. I will make sure this doesn't happen in future scenes and will update the game as soon as I can.
Hello! I almost fell in love with your game after reading the first scene! It's really excellent and captivating.
But I found that in the game, when I first choose an option to flirt with an RO, and then choose a different option for another character, the description of everyone's flirt in the relationship interface will all become the latter. This makes me a bit confused, I'm not sure if this is a bug.
Sorry, my English is not very good, so I used a translator. I hope I have accurately expressed what I want to say. Thank you for bringing such a great work!
I'm very sorry for the confusion! I'm aware of the issue and currently working to fix it, but I appreciate you letting me know. It's not really a bug, but something I didn't anticipate happening. I'm glad you enjoyed the story overall though!
hi, it was mentioned how there Is a poly route with Leese/Lea and Gabriel. Does it already give you an option to go trough that route or does the chance appear later?
Had to replay again thanks to your little update. I do like the changes done where we're being pulled around a lot less. Excellent job there. Still looking forward to further bits of the story and more time with Leese. <3
you know that feeling when you get woken up at 3am and your throat feels like it's been burned by satan himself so then you chug an entire glass of water and suddenly it feels like you've been resurrected from the dead and there's angels pouring heavenly liquid down your throat? yeah that's how i feel reading this if-
SPOILER-ISH??
i mean??? sex scene right near the beginning? then another one (and longer!) in the next chapter?? like?? that doesn't happen often and what a blessing that is!! and and! the way the MC's customization gets mentioned A LOT in the story? like the piercings during the woo-hoo?? mwah chef's kiss! so new so refreshing so aaahhh
ALSO i get to be a badass hunter and a traumatized self-destructive horny hoe who uses sex as a coping mechanism?? YUM i'm eating GOOD (i am MC and MC is me minus the badass hunter part lmao)
thank you so much for this refreshing masterpiece, dear author <3 i hope you get enough undisturbed rest and you never catch cold and you get to have your favorite food whenever you crave it! <3
I'm quite enjoying this story! It has a really interesting and original concept that doesn't feel like it's just a copy of what a bunch of other IFs are already doing. Your writing style is engaging and though there's a few spelling mistakes and incorrect phrases, I'm still thoroughly invested in the world you've created. ... and that sex scene near the start of the game (that dictates your sexuality?). Whoa. Hot! Very *chef's kiss* - you have a talent for writing smut and I can't wait to see more. :D :D
Three things (?) I thought I'd mention. First, although the Warden being (fake) blind is an awesome concept, it seems hard to believe anyone would actually believe the Warden could kill ANY monster blind (as they think he is) when he can't even get around the city blind, or at least struggles to. If the Warden used some sort of magical means (like a sonar/echo-locating spell) to assist him through the city, thus having no issue being misdirected or bumping into things, people would just assume he uses magic to 'see', and that he uses that same magic to help him 'see' while fighting monsters, and so wouldn't question his blindness at all. THEN it would actually be alarming for the Warden if anyone seriously hinted he was faking it, especially if they could sense the magic rolling off the Warden - so much so that the Warden might be seriously on edge around that person. As it currently is I'm surprised everyone seeing him be assisted or randomly stumbling into walls isn't seriously doubting how he could possibly hit anything, let alone kill a formidable monster. lol
Second, I'm playing a stoic/cold/closed yet confident (including with sex) male character, but there are no real "flirt" options that fit such a personality. one is shy, one is bold, and the third is sort of jumpy and nervous. As a result I only have the choice to either not flirt at all and miss out on the ROs (which sucks cos MC is horny and secretly wants that good lovin lol), or to break character just to get one of them. I realize it's a lot to ask, but is there any chance you could add an option that specifies an unexpected/unwanted sexual attraction, or sexual tension, indicating our MC is interested in the person despite themselves?
Lastly, in the scene where you're in Hestia's house, just before she joins your expedition, would it be possible to add an option not to react at all when you learn of the spirits crowding around your character, or pretend it doesn't bother you even if it secretly does? Both the existing options or excitement or panicking are a little dramatic if roleplaying a stoic/cold character (funny though - especially the panicking one!).
Anyway, hopefully you read this far (if so, thanks for bearing with me). All in all this is a really great start so far, and I'm looking forward to all future updates! :)
EDIT: OH! And one thing I forgot to mention, I LOVE the character customization. I don't think I've ever gotten an option for nipple or genital piercings, but I'm here for it (and chose them, of course! lol). <3
First, I'm sorry for responding a little late, but thank you! I appreciate any feedback. To clarify, the first sex scene doesn't determine your sexuality. You just choose what you prefer. I was originally going to make it a determining variable, but I decided not to since you choose the gender of most ROs (I hope my thoughts on this make sense).
Now, onto your points!
1. I have rectified this for the most part. Navigating isn't so grand with magic, but you'll rely on the walking stick like you should have been. I don't want to do magic for this because the MC has only been in Auris for around two years. Before that, they lived in Lenia where magic is still a death sentence.
I could say, "The magic you use is undetectable," but I feel like that'd be too easy, not to mention being too perfect could have raised eyebrows (similar to how the MC is meticulous with dressing). My thoughts are the MC is used to it this way, and magic can be exhausting (I have clarified this in certain scenes), and I honestly just don't want to do it like that.
Before, my original thinking was the MC accepts help for various reasons, such as getting places quicker, seeming unsuspecting, etc. But it happened too much and without reason.
Because I brought it up, you might be curious about fighting in Lenia and how you used your magic there, but these things will be explained in time. But anyway, I hope my reasonings on this make sense!
2. The third option of the flirts is "hesitant". I'm not against adding a fourth option that's a lot more stoic, but if I do, it won't be until after Chapter 3.
couldn't make a tumblr account to commit this but this game is AMAZING. I barely like text games but this one is just different and its hard to explain but I love it
this is one of the best IF i have EVER played, no joke!! your writing is some of the best i've read, and i love the characters (LEESE GOOD GOD), and especially how they all have their own passions/drive. sooooo good, keep up the good work!! so excited to see the plot continue to thicken :)) i have no words, lol!
I actually completely enjoy the story Now I got a wonder can our blind Warden, can he fight blind, or it was a misdeception With a different opponent now ask what I gotta see.
Oh my gosh the NSFW scene is chef's kiss!!! I have already played many CoG/Hosted game and IF demo game on itch io so far, for NSFW scene imo you are the best, the detail and the capture of emotion through that scene I lovin it especially Lyth god damn I shamelessly admit can't get enough of it lol.
But i wanna know about character customization especially when I choose to play as a woman I can't seem to do that, the game still think I'm a man by default, would u mind fix that issue please?
Congrats and thanks so much for sharing this amazing demo it's impressive I love every aspect of it ☺
Hello! So glad i made an account to comment on this amazing game..i wanted to say that i love the narrative for the story aswell as how you are able to costumize the character so much,for people such as me who have a very vivid imagination it's important to feel like the character i'm playing as,and as far as the game as gone(chapter 1 and 2) it gets the job done!
I also would like to add that the nsfw themes are perfectly in balance for me right now,what i mean by that is that i feel like it's not overwhelming..in fact,i am MUCH more obsessed with the dark theme and our character's backstory(ASWELL AS THE FIGHTING SCENES I LOVE FIGHTING SCENES RAAA),the nsfw just gives realism to the game,as i think it rightfully should.
Having said that,i wanted to tell you that i am a pretty good writer(I'm not an actual writer,but i've developed a knack for it thanks to how i can immagine myself in other places),and i really like making ocs(Especially if they have superpowers,so cool!) and i wanted to let you know that if you wanted some advice or immediate feedback for some of that writing(Not coding,i don't anything about allat skssksksk) here is my discord: Tekka_Roblox#2208
I also had some technical questions, like..when is chapter 3 coming out?,How many chapters will the game have(I'm sorry if it's already written somewhere dsihfuhsefeus),How long would it take for the game to be considered completed <storywise>? (if it isn't already)
Secondly, I have been considering creating a Discord server. I am my own beta tester and I've missed so many mistakes and areas that could have been worded better because I am imperfect. This is my first game ever so I'm very unsure how to go about beta testing and all that or if Discord could be a possible place for this.
So far, book one is planned to be 16 chapters. But keep in mind it is a WIP, and a lot of things are subject to change. I might find ways to mash some together to lessen it, or expand upon things. I have 3 books planned for this storyline.
As for when Chapter 3 is finished, I'm not entirely sure. I've had a lot going on irl and it's definitely taking longer than I wanted. My goal is end of September - end of October, but this is my goal and not guaranteed.
A lot of this information hasn't been posted, but it's probably important and I should definitely do that ^^;
Hi,thank you for responding,i love the idea of entire discord server for the game,i think that if you were to structure the channels right,then it could be really helpful for the development of the game(such as suggestion channel,bug report channel,error report channel,game discussion channel,log channel,announcements channel,peeks channel,q-n-a channel),buuuut we should keep in mind that discord doesn't have to be another hassle..so be careful before making something like that as discord is a place that needs high moderation(people are wild there).
Anyways,16 chapters? If what you say is accurate,this game is going to be very long and complex,i expect multiple endings?
For the information,you could post it on tumblr,it's easily accessible even if you dont have an account (which i don't)
Lastly,whats your discord username? because i got some friend requests and im not sure which one is you.
I read this IF (more than once 🌝) a few days ago, but I was unable to reply because I lacked the words to do it justice.
I've never come across anything like this; the plot is utterly original and unlike anything I've ever seen 🤌✨.
Although all the ROs are undeniably delightful and intriguing, I must say that my full attention is focused on Leese🫡. I have absolutely no regrets about doing that; in fact, I plan to digitally illustrate him!!
Aww, I always have trouble responding to comments like these because words can't express how dang happy they make me. Thank you so much for taking the time to share it!
I'm unbelievably overjoyed that so many love my story! And I'm incredibly excited that it has inspired fan art. It all makes me so weepy ;o;
Brilliant, love it so far. Quick question since MC can be a woman with breasts and have a cock, can the female RO's have cocks or are they just pure female?
Glad you love it! They are pure female. I had considered giving ROs the same customization options as the MC, but it was too much to think about. Most ROs have characteristics tailored to their gender (draconians and their horns, for example), so it would have just been more variables to juggle. I am still learning, so I could also be overthinking its complexity. But even then, there are still other things that I'd have to consider anyway (Leese/Lea's story, for example, in a comment below). However, there is a fling later on that I have planned to let people customize to this extent, though it's a one-time fling you'll never "see" again.
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This story is easily one of the best WIPS out there. I was immediately drawn in by the plot and writing, but especially by your characters. It is a rare IF that makes me want to romance more than one character (usually two at most), but I have to replay this so many times because I literally want them all! Well done!
This story is truely fantastic and I was delighted to hear of chapter 3 part 1's release. I discovered Within Your Eyes shortly after chapter 2 was released.
Leese Van Laere has my whole heart and I'm terrified of when our secrets are revealed to him. While I'm definitely going to do several playthroughs to see differen't choices, Leese and Gabriel's poly route is my 'canon' and I really like how the poly choices show a budding connection between the two, not just between them and the warden.
I simply can't wait for more, yet I hope you take your time to craft the story you want to tell. Books can take many years to write and I hope you don't hold yourself to a schedule that burns you out. Your story is worth however long it takes to make!
LIGHT SPOILERS
Must. Tell. Childhood. Crush. My. Identity. 😣
Will we eventually be able to restore Elies to the throne?
Must. Tell. Childhood. Crush. My. Identity. 😣 < this x1000
At this point, I don't think we are going to tell them anything. I'm pretty sure that they are going to find out on their own. A passage after finding Lea/Leese in the forest: "She(the warden) is starting to remind her(Lea/Leese) of *her*."
(** Means italicized)
I'm enjoying this game a lot! I appreciate the detailed prose and emphasis on player agency. The story really pulls me in.
I was wondering, though, if there's a downloadable version available? I keep getting stuck, unable to click on menu options because the UI doesn't work well on my mobile device. Since this is a Twine game I was hoping it could be downloaded to run on JoiPlay.
I'm sorry you were having that issue! I'm having some trouble getting a download version to work as it wants to keep replacing the main one. There's probably something I'm missing (I'm very confused with itch.io, I'm so sorry), please bear with me!
Edit: I'm dumb, it needed a different name. It's there now!
fantastic!! lyth/lyari is a brazen little imp draconian and i look forward to seeing how the warden handles their seemingly on-brand, shameless snooping in the future. also harus and the warden's endearingly fickle raven friend are very interesting :DD, and so are the
demonsskeletons hiding in the warden's closet! 👍 all in all, 10/10, would read ten times over again, ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ x2 = 10 STARSfavorite character would have to be the basilisk that the warden could choose to slay over the other two monsters. 'basilisk' is just one of my favorite words. its etymology is irresistible. and THE mythological basilisk is one of my favorite creatures of myth, and so i could. not. help. myself
just kidding :DD my favorite character is probably lyth/lyari. but do know that i kill that basilisk every single time regardless of who the warden is whatever time around. i'm glad that you included it >:D
lastly, i HIGHLY enjoy the guilt meter, in particular the fact that it's the only meter on the warden's profile page, iirc. it's an interesting little feature that's distinctive to this IN, and i like to think about how its flux will affect the story moving forwards!! wonderful work :D
as a side note, i love the inclusion of an allosexual aromantic option when it comes to determining the warden's sexuality. other INs include it, but not all (understandably!), and so i'm personally glad that yours is among those INs who do :) ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️!!!
this is the best game ive ever found on here omg 😭 the writing is masterful and the story is an absolute gem. i love absolutely everything about it!! the warden's trauma really tugged on my heartstrings and i adore all the characters especially lea 🥺💗 i need to protect her💔!!
i did notice some spelling and grammatical errors during various chapters that came up in the choices, as well as one during the actual story and a single instance where gabriel's gender (set to female) swapped to male. they were pretty rare and all very minor but ill do my best to go back through and report them on your google form!
also! can i ask when you're expecting to put out the next part/chapter, if you have a planned schedule or any idea how long it might take? no rush, and ill be here for it regardless! ive just come to the end of this and its so brilliant im begging
i created an account just to say this anyway thank u so so much for making this game
Thank you so much for going the extra mile to create an account and share your thoughts ─ that's incredibly sweet of you! ♥ Your kind words mean a lot to me.
Regarding the spelling and grammatical errors, I truly appreciate your willingness to help out. Please feel free to report them whenever convenient, but remember, there's no pressure to backtrack.
As for the release of Part Two, I don’t have a specific date in mind yet. However, I'm aiming for it to be completed sooner than Part One. During the creation of Part One, I encountered challenges like lack of confidence and writer's block (
and maybe a slight addiction to Baldur's Gate 3), which I'm hoping to manage better this time around. Your support and patience as I work through this process are greatly appreciated!Thank you so much once again for your wonderful words and support!
no worries! the game was good enough i felt obliged 😭
ill report any more errors i find when i replay this after the next update drops!
and thank u for answering time frame question! dont feel any need to rush urself, work at ur own pace and we'll be waiting eagerly for whatever comes next! have confidence in ur writing; it's gorgeous <3
thanks agin for creating such a great game and i cant wait to see what happens next! 💗
THIS NEEDS AN UPDATE SOON PLEASEEEEEEEEEE
I hope my next update won't be too long a wait! I appreciate the enthusiasm 😁
THIS IS FUCKING AMAZING WHAT THE FUCK I'M OBSESSED
Is there a lore reason why the Warden can't have red/ginger hair? Like if it is particular to a certain region or people that aren't in Lenia or something like that?
I was making my second read-through character more like myself until I reached that point and went "Oh. It's not there."
It's not a huge deal but I'm curious. Burgundy Red just isn't the same.
Very enjoyable and engaging read, by the way.
Originally, I just couldn't think of what colors to add ^^;
I don't mind adding these options!
Cheers! The hair color rarely if ever comes up so it's really not a problem.
My lazy solution would be to just call it Red and let people project whichever kind of red onto it. Unless you sometimes have descriptives tied to the colors, in which case it would get annoying for you.
I was honestly more curious to know if there was going to be a region full of gingers somewhere down the line or something! Or it be a special family's trait.
In times like these, your ability come to the forefront. While it takes a heavy toll on you, your ability to inspire and lead others is your greatest asset. It's what helped you prevail against the basilisk and various other monsters when you couldn't see.
Is this a bug? Charisma and teamwork are my lowest stats.
This is an amazing game, you are doing great, keep it up, and other encouraging words!
I write a bit and recently found twine and started making my own game, and this is honestly everything I strive to be. Good job!
I found an error
The cut out part reads:
<<if $chapter3.includes("Hangover")>>[[Chapter Three|Ch3HangoverPt1]]<<elseif $chapter2.includes("LySleep")>>[[Chapter Three|Ch3LyRoomWake][$chapter3.push("LyWake")]]<<else>>[[Chapter Three|Ch3RoomWake]]<</if>>Please disregard this message if you have a distaste for lengthy messages, as I must confess that I couldn't hold back my cascading stream of words 😭.
I am utterly awe-struck and at a loss for words to express the sheer magnificence of this interactive fiction, Its nothing short of extraordinary; Allow me to confess, perhaps for the first time, that the opening quote attributed to the brilliant Fyodor Dostoevsky holds a special place in my heart. His literary prowess has always enchanted me✨.
And oh, dear heavens, let it be known that the POVs of the ROs within this story are incredibly vital, and your masterful writing brings them to life in the most enchanting way. Your impeccable skills in crafting these narratives is truly unparalleled. I find unparalleled joy in devouring every single one of them, and I simply cannot resist singling out the POVs of Leese. He's different 🌝❤️
My dear author, you have bewitched me completely. The allure of Leese's enchanting character is both exhilarating and tormenting, I eagerly anticipate the clicmatic "reveal" that lies ahead.
As a student of psychology, I must confess that I yearn for my university textbooks to captivate me in the same way your beautifully crafted words do. Your intricate and detailed descriptions of emotional transformations and conflicts are an absolute delight to read. Each passage feels like a precious gift.
I am glad by the opportunity we were given to explore the MC's tumultuous past, which unveils a heart-wrenching tale. It becomes clear why she carries herself the way she does, and yet, there is still an air of mystery surrounding her. My mind is teeming with theories that both excite and consume me, so many questions about the parents 💀.
The epic clash with the golem during the journey to the capital was nothing short of awe-inspiring. Let me assure you, dear author, my MC left everyone breathless with her astonishing prowess 😩.
I apologize if I'm rambling, but I hope you can bear with my overflowing. I am truly grateful for the opportunity to immerse myself in such exquisite storytelling.
I shall go to bed now....
Thank you so much for your incredibly kind words! I'm so deeply touched and overwhelmed in a good way. It means the world to me to hear how much you've connected with the characters, especially Lee.
I'm glad to hear that the story resonates with you on such a personal level, and that it has even made a connection with you studying psychology (and I wish you the best on your journey!). Admittingly, psychology isn't something I've studied much. I base my characters off real emotions I've felt and experienced, while also researching just enough to ensure some things make sense. You saying that makes me feel a lot better about how I convey the emotions my characters portray. It's also a badge of honor knowing I've successfully made the MC feel like the most fascinating of the cast so far.
Your message is far from rambling! It's a joy to read and truly appreciated. All of these heartfelt messages are what inspire me to keep writing and creating. Thank you again for taking the time to share your thoughts, and I hope the story continues to captivate you in chapters to come!
Thank you for responding ✨. Your ability to convey authentic emotions through your characters is truly remarkable. Knowing that my words have encouraged and inspired you means a lot 💕. I'm eagerly looking forward to the upcoming chapters and where the story takes us next. Thank you for sharing your talent and creating such an impactful narrative!
The update was great, and significantly longer than I was expecting (a wonderful surprise)! Finally knowing what lead the MC to their current trauma was incredibly satisfying. Also, Lea's new height is delicious and the slow-burn is killing me in the best way possible. I can't wait for the 'reveal' with her.
Update was fantastic! I love rereading this and cannot wait for more!
this just keep getting better oml
I'm sorry you encountered this error! I just did another test and it seems to be working properly for me. Did you start a new game after the update? If you did start a new game, this error seems to refer to a variable that can be set in Chapter One; could you tell me if you went with Gabriel, or went the solo route and followed the voices?
You might also try clearing your browser cache, as I've heard it can help resolve issues. If you encounter this error again, could you expand the error and screenshot it for me?
Sorry for all the questions. I greatly appreciate your patience and cooperation on the matter and I will do my best to resolve it!
Oh i went with Gabriel. Also i cleared the browser cache but it is still the same ;;;;
I'm sorry to hear that the issue is still occurring. Despite trying to replicate it with the information you've provided, I haven't been able to do so yet. I will continue looking into this matter.
In the meantime, it might be helpful to try playing the game using a different browser. I've read that some problems can be related to the browser. If the issue also occurs in another browser, it could provide more insights into whether it's related to the game itself.
I truly apologize for the inconvenience and appreciate your patience!
Of course! Romance in general is optional :)
I hope you add more images of the game in the game page! Will help people to figure out what the game is about
First of all, I really like the story in general, most of the ROs and the level of customization for the MC. I particularly liked the customization when it comes to magical abilities, which I hope will be brought up a lot in future updates, and the backstory between your MC and one of the ROs.
However there was one thing that bugged me quite a bit when I read/played it about a month ago, which I don't know if is changed or not. If y That was in the sex scene with Ly where I had a choice between three different sexual positions/sexual acts and despite this it ended with my MC switching to the opposite position midway through. This made it feel both like my the choice I made for my MC didn't really matter and that the choice was taken away from me as a player/reader and I personally really didn't like that twist at all. It's completely fair if you want the sex scenes to be a particular way, but when you offer a particular option, I expect the story to respect that option instead of deciding that the MCs decide on the opposite course of action, so to speak, halfway through. I'm not saying that the sex scene as it was written won't work for anyone(for what it's worth, I really enjoyed it before the twist), but it would be nice if there was at least an option for readers/players to decide if we actually want the MC to switch things around after all or if we want them to stay in that position., so that those of us who'd prefer that last option can stick with that.
If you'd already taken care of this in the last update, please feel free to ignore what I've written, but if you haven't I just hope you can do something about it sooner or later. As it was, it ruined a lot of my enjoymen of the Ly romance path. There are still two ROs who look really interesting, G and Le, so even if nothing's changed or will change with the Ly sex scene, I'll still be looking forward to the developments of those two romances. But I do hope that we as a players/readers will get the opportunity to at least not switch things up in that scene.
Anyway, I hope my criticism won't discourage you too much. Apart from that point I really enjoyed this IF, like I said, and feel that it has a lot of promise and an approach that I really like.
First and foremost, thank you for taking the time to provide your feedback. I'm grateful to hear that you're enjoying various aspects of the story, and I genuinely appreciate your input!
I'm truly sorry for any unintended surprises in Ly's explicit scenes. It was never my intention to introduce a twist that affected player agency, and most of all, make anyone uncomfortable. If you could specify the scene in question through the Issue Report form, I'll review it to make the necessary changes and improvements. I genuinely apologize for any discomfort this may have caused, and I definitely want to address this issue!
Once again, I appreciate your feedback and thank you so much for bringing this to my attention!
Thank you for your kind reply. I just sent you a report. Hope that is of help and made clear what my problem was.
Thank you so much for taking the time to do that! I will rework these scenes to ensure you and other readers have more agency during these moments. If something similar occurred in other variations, I'll make sure to address those as well. Once again, I'm deeply sorry for any discomfort this may have caused and for making your choice feel insignificant. I will make sure this doesn't happen in future scenes and will update the game as soon as I can.
You
yes you
Amazing work, would read more *add yippee sound effects with*
How is this so good! WHAT IS THIS SORCERY!! This story has me on a chokehold . Thank you so much for creating this masterpiece 💙💙
Hello! I almost fell in love with your game after reading the first scene! It's really excellent and captivating.
But I found that in the game, when I first choose an option to flirt with an RO, and then choose a different option for another character, the description of everyone's flirt in the relationship interface will all become the latter. This makes me a bit confused, I'm not sure if this is a bug.
Sorry, my English is not very good, so I used a translator. I hope I have accurately expressed what I want to say. Thank you for bringing such a great work!
I'm very sorry for the confusion! I'm aware of the issue and currently working to fix it, but I appreciate you letting me know. It's not really a bug, but something I didn't anticipate happening. I'm glad you enjoyed the story overall though!
hi, it was mentioned how there Is a poly route with Leese/Lea and Gabriel. Does it already give you an option to go trough that route or does the chance appear later?
Not yet, sorry! It will start in Chapter 3.
I LOVE LOVE LOVE THIS AUTHOR I CAN'T WAIT FOR MORE!!
thanks for the update author 😘. always talented as ever.
Had to replay again thanks to your little update. I do like the changes done where we're being pulled around a lot less. Excellent job there. Still looking forward to further bits of the story and more time with Leese. <3
you know that feeling when you get woken up at 3am and your throat feels like it's been burned by satan himself so then you chug an entire glass of water and suddenly it feels like you've been resurrected from the dead and there's angels pouring heavenly liquid down your throat? yeah that's how i feel reading this if-
SPOILER-ISH??
i mean??? sex scene right near the beginning? then another one (and longer!) in the next chapter?? like?? that doesn't happen often and what a blessing that is!! and and! the way the MC's customization gets mentioned A LOT in the story? like the piercings during the woo-hoo?? mwah chef's kiss! so new so refreshing so aaahhh
ALSO i get to be a badass hunter and a traumatized self-destructive horny hoe who uses sex as a coping mechanism?? YUM i'm eating GOOD (i am MC and MC is me minus the badass hunter part lmao)
thank you so much for this refreshing masterpiece, dear author <3 i hope you get enough undisturbed rest and you never catch cold and you get to have your favorite food whenever you crave it! <3
Let's go 😄
Love the game, definitely on my top 3 text based games, i find myself dreaming of how the game is gonna turn out😁
There's a typo here in the second choice after this line:
You think for a moment as Quoth nestles beside your jaw, seemingly impatient.
Φ Giving a warm smile, you nod, "I would appreciate that."
Φ You smile but turn $gabhimher down. "No, thank you though."
Thank you! I have it fixed for next update.
I'm quite enjoying this story! It has a really interesting and original concept that doesn't feel like it's just a copy of what a bunch of other IFs are already doing. Your writing style is engaging and though there's a few spelling mistakes and incorrect phrases, I'm still thoroughly invested in the world you've created.
... and that sex scene near the start of the game (that dictates your sexuality?). Whoa. Hot! Very *chef's kiss* - you have a talent for writing smut and I can't wait to see more. :D :D
Three things (?) I thought I'd mention.
First, although the Warden being (fake) blind is an awesome concept, it seems hard to believe anyone would actually believe the Warden could kill ANY monster blind (as they think he is) when he can't even get around the city blind, or at least struggles to. If the Warden used some sort of magical means (like a sonar/echo-locating spell) to assist him through the city, thus having no issue being misdirected or bumping into things, people would just assume he uses magic to 'see', and that he uses that same magic to help him 'see' while fighting monsters, and so wouldn't question his blindness at all. THEN it would actually be alarming for the Warden if anyone seriously hinted he was faking it, especially if they could sense the magic rolling off the Warden - so much so that the Warden might be seriously on edge around that person.
As it currently is I'm surprised everyone seeing him be assisted or randomly stumbling into walls isn't seriously doubting how he could possibly hit anything, let alone kill a formidable monster. lol
Second, I'm playing a stoic/cold/closed yet confident (including with sex) male character, but there are no real "flirt" options that fit such a personality. one is shy, one is bold, and the third is sort of jumpy and nervous. As a result I only have the choice to either not flirt at all and miss out on the ROs (which sucks cos MC is horny and secretly wants that good lovin lol), or to break character just to get one of them. I realize it's a lot to ask, but is there any chance you could add an option that specifies an unexpected/unwanted sexual attraction, or sexual tension, indicating our MC is interested in the person despite themselves?
Lastly, in the scene where you're in Hestia's house, just before she joins your expedition, would it be possible to add an option not to react at all when you learn of the spirits crowding around your character, or pretend it doesn't bother you even if it secretly does? Both the existing options or excitement or panicking are a little dramatic if roleplaying a stoic/cold character (funny though - especially the panicking one!).
Anyway, hopefully you read this far (if so, thanks for bearing with me). All in all this is a really great start so far, and I'm looking forward to all future updates! :)
EDIT: OH! And one thing I forgot to mention, I LOVE the character customization. I don't think I've ever gotten an option for nipple or genital piercings, but I'm here for it (and chose them, of course! lol). <3
First, I'm sorry for responding a little late, but thank you! I appreciate any feedback. To clarify, the first sex scene doesn't determine your sexuality. You just choose what you prefer. I was originally going to make it a determining variable, but I decided not to since you choose the gender of most ROs (I hope my thoughts on this make sense).
Now, onto your points!
1. I have rectified this for the most part. Navigating isn't so grand with magic, but you'll rely on the walking stick like you should have been. I don't want to do magic for this because the MC has only been in Auris for around two years. Before that, they lived in Lenia where magic is still a death sentence.
I could say, "The magic you use is undetectable," but I feel like that'd be too easy, not to mention being too perfect could have raised eyebrows (similar to how the MC is meticulous with dressing). My thoughts are the MC is used to it this way, and magic can be exhausting (I have clarified this in certain scenes), and I honestly just don't want to do it like that.
Before, my original thinking was the MC accepts help for various reasons, such as getting places quicker, seeming unsuspecting, etc. But it happened too much and without reason.
Because I brought it up, you might be curious about fighting in Lenia and how you used your magic there, but these things will be explained in time. But anyway, I hope my reasonings on this make sense!
2. The third option of the flirts is "hesitant". I'm not against adding a fourth option that's a lot more stoic, but if I do, it won't be until after Chapter 3.
3. I have made this an option :)
Thank you again for your feedback!
Love this! Really enthralling characters and setting you have here!
couldn't make a tumblr account to commit this but this game is AMAZING. I barely like text games but this one is just different and its hard to explain but I love it
this is one of the best IF i have EVER played, no joke!! your writing is some of the best i've read, and i love the characters (LEESE GOOD GOD), and especially how they all have their own passions/drive. sooooo good, keep up the good work!! so excited to see the plot continue to thicken :)) i have no words, lol!
I actually completely enjoy the story Now I got a wonder can our blind Warden, can he fight blind, or it was a misdeception With a different opponent now ask what I gotta see.
Oh my gosh the NSFW scene is chef's kiss!!! I have already played many CoG/Hosted game and IF demo game on itch io so far, for NSFW scene imo you are the best, the detail and the capture of emotion through that scene I lovin it especially Lyth god damn I shamelessly admit can't get enough of it lol.
But i wanna know about character customization especially when I choose to play as a woman I can't seem to do that, the game still think I'm a man by default, would u mind fix that issue please?
Congrats and thanks so much for sharing this amazing demo it's impressive I love every aspect of it ☺
Thank you so much!
Could you explain the customization issue a little more? Is the gender you selected not working at all or just certain areas?
I also would like to add that the nsfw themes are perfectly in balance for me right now,what i mean by that is that i feel like it's not overwhelming..in fact,i am MUCH more obsessed with the dark theme and our character's backstory(ASWELL AS THE FIGHTING SCENES I LOVE FIGHTING SCENES RAAA),the nsfw just gives realism to the game,as i think it rightfully should.
Having said that,i wanted to tell you that i am a pretty good writer(I'm not an actual writer,but i've developed a knack for it thanks to how i can immagine myself in other places),and i really like making ocs(Especially if they have superpowers,so cool!) and i wanted to let you know that if you wanted some advice or immediate feedback for some of that writing(Not coding,i don't anything about allat skssksksk) here is my discord: Tekka_Roblox#2208
I also had some technical questions, like..when is chapter 3 coming out?,How many chapters will the game have
(I'm sorry if it's already written somewhere dsihfuhsefeus),How long would it take for the game to be considered completed <storywise>? (if it isn't already)First off, wow! Thank you so much!
Secondly, I have been considering creating a Discord server. I am my own beta tester and I've missed so many mistakes and areas that could have been worded better because I am imperfect. This is my first game ever so I'm very unsure how to go about beta testing and all that or if Discord could be a possible place for this.
So far, book one is planned to be 16 chapters. But keep in mind it is a WIP, and a lot of things are subject to change. I might find ways to mash some together to lessen it, or expand upon things. I have 3 books planned for this storyline.
As for when Chapter 3 is finished, I'm not entirely sure. I've had a lot going on irl and it's definitely taking longer than I wanted. My goal is end of September - end of October, but this is my goal and not guaranteed.
A lot of this information hasn't been posted, but it's probably important and I should definitely do that ^^;
Hi,thank you for responding,i love the idea of entire discord server for the game,i think that if you were to structure the channels right,then it could be really helpful for the development of the game
(such as suggestion channel,bug report channel,error report channel,game discussion channel,log channel,announcements channel,peeks channel,q-n-a channel),buuuut we should keep in mind that discord doesn't have to be another hassle..so be careful before making something like that as discord is a place that needs high moderation(people are wild there).Anyways,16 chapters? If what you say is accurate,this game is going to be very long and complex,i expect multiple endings?
For the information,you could post it on tumblr,it's easily accessible even if you dont have an account (which i don't)
Lastly,whats your discord username? because i got some friend requests and im not sure which one is you.
I'm still thinking on it and will take those things into consideration, thank you!
I have 4 different endings planned for the first book!
I sent a friend request not long ago, it's Avi Yue'tu :)
hii, can you recommend another if's like this one, please?
I read this IF (more than once 🌝) a few days ago, but I was unable to reply because I lacked the words to do it justice.
I've never come across anything like this; the plot is utterly original and unlike anything I've ever seen 🤌✨.
Although all the ROs are undeniably delightful and intriguing, I must say that my full attention is focused on Leese🫡. I have absolutely no regrets about doing that; in fact, I plan to digitally illustrate him!!
Tysm for creating this ❤️
Aww, I always have trouble responding to comments like these because words can't express how dang happy they make me. Thank you so much for taking the time to share it!
I'm unbelievably overjoyed that so many love my story! And I'm incredibly excited that it has inspired fan art. It all makes me so weepy ;o;
Brilliant, love it so far. Quick question since MC can be a woman with breasts and have a cock, can the female RO's have cocks or are they just pure female?
Glad you love it! They are pure female. I had considered giving ROs the same customization options as the MC, but it was too much to think about. Most ROs have characteristics tailored to their gender (draconians and their horns, for example), so it would have just been more variables to juggle. I am still learning, so I could also be overthinking its complexity. But even then, there are still other things that I'd have to consider anyway (Leese/Lea's story, for example, in a comment below). However, there is a fling later on that I have planned to let people customize to this extent, though it's a one-time fling you'll never "see" again.
ah fair enough.