Stumbled upon this purely by chance, and I have to say -- very well done! I've read loads of IF (lots of Hosted/CoG and as many on itch.io as possible) and your writing is just... good. It's damn good. Out of curiosity, i noticed that almost all the women ROs are on the shorter side -- what led to this choice? Leese is significantly taller than Lea, in-spite being the same person.
First off, thank you! Secondly, I'm going to get into this a little bit because it's been on my mind recently.
Foremost it's because I see them as different people in some ways. I'm not sure how to explain it entirely, and I'm sorry if it's disappointing. But it's kind of funny this topic was brought up because I've been agonizing over Lea's height this week.
I wrote out appearances a long time ago and I had ideas that don't really matter anymore. Lea went through some different things for being a woman and wanting to be a knight, and originally her height was just another thing that was weaponized against her and her dream. I later decided being a woman would have been enough, and I did increase her height, but not much as I didn't want to stray too far from my original vision. Until I was writing out a more recent scene and I stop and rip out my hair because I really wish I matched her height with Leese. But since I already had it on the itch page, I didn't know if I should change it or leave it. I just wasn't thinking it through and it's kind of my biggest regret right now.
Gabriel was originally going to be two characters, fraternal twins, but there was so much going on with it I decided to merge them but keep the physical differences. Male Gab was always the beefy warrior type while female was lithe. There were jokes between them on their height, and I never really thought to change it, but it's another one I started reconsidering along with Lea.
For other characters, it made sense for race and regional reasons. Xiao is human, but humans also have sub-races, and where they're from, Xiaowen is the tallest for a man and Xiaodan is the tallest for a woman. I had intended to show that the people there are just really short where they're from and that there are differences with sex for some races. This is also why Lyari is the same height as Lyth.
Anyways, I've been thinking about doing some height adjustments, but I do worry about upsetting people if I do, even if I shouldn't. Everyone whose seen it has a mental image now, and I don't want to ruin it. Maybe I'm also overthinking it, but I feel torn and terrible about it. Regardless, I hope this all makes sense!
I'm not gonna lie, I think good chunk of us are thirsting over Lea pushing 6ft in height -- but more importantly, she is YOUR character. As this is a WIP, i think virtually all readers expect changes, whether it to be the characters we meet or changes to the storyline. I've read games where entire books were wiped and re-written, and that is honestly to be expected. All writers, whether it's IF or just regular paperback, are more than allowed to change and alter the story and it's characters, because that's just how the editorial process works! It just be that way, lol. However I don't want to sound like I'm pushing for that, just that I don't think you need to worry too much about us readers being upset if ROs are tweaked. We're just excited to eat the cake you've made (hopefully that metaphor makes sense)!
I also want to chime in and just say thank you for your response -- I honestly didn't really expect an answer or a few words at most. It's clear you care about this work, and I think it shows.
You're right, I guess I was caught up in my worries that I forgot these things. I really want her to be taller, so I'll do it! Thank you for taking the time to reply and for reminding me things happen but are okay!
I'm not entirely sure, I'm terrible at predictions and this is my very first IF lol
I do have a goal for sometime next year, but this is a goal and not something I'll confirm as life can be unpredictable. It could be sooner or could be later :')
I'm not quite sure I understand what IF means though as long as the story is interesting and character aren't one dimensional I'm sure I'll enjoy the final product. Either way good luck I hope there are no roadblocks ahead.
one thing i'm worried about. is there child porn? cause i've seen some games that include children like the game called inheritance and they have child porn and im worried this is like that.
No, there is no child porn. I'm sorry if there's any confusion regarding age. Your character is an adult, you just get flashbacks/dreams of your childhood.
I wanted to say: I'm absolutely in love with your game. Previously only the Wayfarer engaged me so much, and believe me, that's a high praise.
Customization is super deep, and I loved how it's mentinoed throughout the game (if you have a piercing, MC will check it and so on).
Story is gripping and your character predicament is very interesting,
All RO are super-good. Like, anyone of them is such a great character. I hope there is some poly stuff, because picking one would be so painful((( But opportunity to have a fling is also very welcome,
I picled "all of it" option for my MC's vices, and it was really fun! Very realistic description. "Drink a bit, some smokes to stop myself from chewing nails. How about some sex xD!
I did not read your previous sex scenes, but the current one in chap 2 is super-hot. Like, "open the window to calm yourself a bit" level of hotness. So I think you mastered it!
I encountered couple of bugs about characters gender display and reported them via your bug reportng system.
Will images be added? The lack of images just seems out of place here. I think it'd help to put at least one image for a character's appearance, and sex scenes could definitely use animations or sprites as the writing alone isn't doing it for me
I've been thinking a lot about character art but debating on adding it to the game since some people also like picturing them themselves. I'll probably do a poll later on to decide this but it wont be till after chapter 3. I'm also planning to do pictures of creatures and such. As for sex scenes, I never thought about it before, honestly. I'll take it into consideration, but no promises there. Thank you for the suggestions!
Are you new to the interactive fiction space? these kinds of games don't have animations and more story-focused, what your asking for isn't something these kinds of games do.
I mean, you could always put in the ability to disable character portraits. I think it's fine as it is, but wouldn't object to some visual stimulus either. That said, getting an artist can be tricky and expensive. Or even doing it yourself is a lot of work. Regardless of the choice, you've got a good piece of work and a following, so remember that it's your vision that matters the most here Al.
I had thought about a way to disable portraits but I couldn't find much when I looked into it. I definitely want to do this and will look further when I'm ready for it as I will most likely do the art myself :') Regardless, I appreciate your words, thank you!
Hello! I just started reading, and I love how customizable the Warden is, as well as how immersive the story writing is! I just wanted to comment to let you know about a bug, I believe? In the dinner scene with the viceroy and Lord Dilès, when I choose the "I wasn't always blind, I had a good mentor." response, it leads to the scene with the "Some people are born gifted, Your Highness." response. I just wanted to let you know, have a nice day!
Pretty nice game! Want more… IDK if it's true or not in real phone because I just try to see it in responsive web design mode. When I enable the touch simulation, the game menu doesn't get toggle when it's click. It does appear when you hover over them, but in mobile they don't have hover effect right? Anyway, just want to mention that just in case I'm wrong, I apologize!
So now my main issue is how the fuck does one choose who to romance when everyone is written so bloody amazingly. I'm genuinely stuck! Lol this was such a great and pleasant read. And I'm so glad its ongoing and got updated recently. There is such great stories tht get abandoned its wonderful when i find one that is so nice and actually gets updated. This was really so great. I love leese even tho I love everyone right now lmao but he is definitely a front-runner. Love tht the sex scenes aren't all vague because that Normally is a huge disappointment in alot of stories. These are adults after all. So I quite enjoyed those. MC seems to have so much depth I'm excited to continue the story. Overall I just wanted to say well done and thank you! You made my day a bit brighter with this read. ✨️
It's a damn good game, it has a pretty interesting plot and quite a lot of potential, actually. I'd say that my only complain would be the descriptions and length of the sex scenes, as the currently present ones feel slightly "dull".
Thank you! And I agree. I do feel like my sex scenes are lacking so far. But when I think of how I could improve it, I can't think beyond what's already written. It's definitely something I'm trying to improve here and there as I work on Chapter 3. If you don't mind me asking, in your opinion (and anyone else), what would make it less "dull"? Is it just the length and neeing more details? Maybe another perspective will help me. (Sorry if that's weird to ask)
Although a bit experienced with writing both nsfw and sfw stuff, I can't give a lot of advice, as styles may vary greatly. Still, I would give a more in-depth description of everything that can be described; some more "steamy" descriptions regarding the interaction between the bodies of the individuals involved in the "act", like, how they feel internally and externally (perhaps changing as per previous choices/interactions?), how the enviroment they're in affects their act and all that. I'd also recommend take a look on other works, take them as examples and improve your style's description/length.
Quick question? Will flirting with more than one of them effect their opinion on you? I can't choose between Leese/Lea and Gabriel so I've just been flirting with them both. But I dont wanna do that if it'll cause a bad ending. :(
No, you won't get a bad ending from this. However, some ROs will react if you're flirting with someone else, but under certain circumstances. I don't want to say anymore to avoid spoilers though :>
I'm looking into the problem still but I'm assuming it's something to do with the save name input and certain browsers. I'll probably disable this feature for now until someone gets back to me on how to resolve it (I'm still learning things x.x). If it persists then it's something else. Unfortunately, I can't be certain as I haven't personally had this error occur.
I already have an update planned to release later today or tomorrow (PDT). I'm still testing and going over it at the moment but I'll remove it then. Sorry for the inconvenience.
Oh, thank you for letting me know! I haven't really used the itch.io app before. I'm trying a different macro but if that doesn't work then I'll keep asking around.
Hi, I'm sorry you're having issues! I have tested on various mobile browsers and a couple other devices and has been working. I will look into the issue more. Could you tell me what it's doing?
Okay okay, SO! I'm a really big fan of IFs, but it's super hard to find ones that actually captivate my attention; much harder to find ones that do and are complete/still being worked on. So, needless to say, you can imagine my joy when finding an IF that meets my criteria. I'm genuinely excited for this story; the chapter was long (longer than I expected, honestly), the customization and choices are great (it's a deal-breaker if I can't be a little bitch to everyone I know) and, best of all, the writing is actually good!! Anyway, long story short, I'm super excited to see what will come of this. Like, really excited. You have a gift, Alahria, and I went into rant-mode just to express that.
TLDR: This was great, keep doin' what you do!
(sorry for the long comment, i got really excited)
THIS is definitely a twine I'm looking forward too <3 I love the mc already and the lore so far is interesting as well as the characters and so many li options <3
Oh I love this :D the characters are amazing, especially because DRAGONS :D and my raven is such a cutie pie <3 Gabriel is so sweet, Leese is interesting (childhood friend <3) you did an amazing job! I'm looking forward to read more!
I'm having trouble playing this on Android. The first page with the content warnings has the next button at the bottom but I can't select it because the menu on the left gets in the way.
I am so excited!! I loved the slow build up you made and the characters were fun to meet as well. (Definitely planning to romance all of them at least once)
← Return to game
Comments
Log in with itch.io to leave a comment.
Stumbled upon this purely by chance, and I have to say -- very well done! I've read loads of IF (lots of Hosted/CoG and as many on itch.io as possible) and your writing is just... good. It's damn good. Out of curiosity, i noticed that almost all the women ROs are on the shorter side -- what led to this choice? Leese is significantly taller than Lea, in-spite being the same person.
First off, thank you! Secondly, I'm going to get into this a little bit because it's been on my mind recently.
Foremost it's because I see them as different people in some ways. I'm not sure how to explain it entirely, and I'm sorry if it's disappointing. But it's kind of funny this topic was brought up because I've been agonizing over Lea's height this week.
I wrote out appearances a long time ago and I had ideas that don't really matter anymore. Lea went through some different things for being a woman and wanting to be a knight, and originally her height was just another thing that was weaponized against her and her dream. I later decided being a woman would have been enough, and I did increase her height, but not much as I didn't want to stray too far from my original vision. Until I was writing out a more recent scene and I stop and rip out my hair because I really wish I matched her height with Leese. But since I already had it on the itch page, I didn't know if I should change it or leave it. I just wasn't thinking it through and it's kind of my biggest regret right now.
Gabriel was originally going to be two characters, fraternal twins, but there was so much going on with it I decided to merge them but keep the physical differences. Male Gab was always the beefy warrior type while female was lithe. There were jokes between them on their height, and I never really thought to change it, but it's another one I started reconsidering along with Lea.
For other characters, it made sense for race and regional reasons. Xiao is human, but humans also have sub-races, and where they're from, Xiaowen is the tallest for a man and Xiaodan is the tallest for a woman. I had intended to show that the people there are just really short where they're from and that there are differences with sex for some races. This is also why Lyari is the same height as Lyth.
Anyways, I've been thinking about doing some height adjustments, but I do worry about upsetting people if I do, even if I shouldn't. Everyone whose seen it has a mental image now, and I don't want to ruin it. Maybe I'm also overthinking it, but I feel torn and terrible about it. Regardless, I hope this all makes sense!
I'm not gonna lie, I think good chunk of us are thirsting over Lea pushing 6ft in height -- but more importantly, she is YOUR character. As this is a WIP, i think virtually all readers expect changes, whether it to be the characters we meet or changes to the storyline. I've read games where entire books were wiped and re-written, and that is honestly to be expected. All writers, whether it's IF or just regular paperback, are more than allowed to change and alter the story and it's characters, because that's just how the editorial process works! It just be that way, lol. However I don't want to sound like I'm pushing for that, just that I don't think you need to worry too much about us readers being upset if ROs are tweaked. We're just excited to eat the cake you've made (hopefully that metaphor makes sense)!
I also want to chime in and just say thank you for your response -- I honestly didn't really expect an answer or a few words at most. It's clear you care about this work, and I think it shows.
You're right, I guess I was caught up in my worries that I forgot these things. I really want her to be taller, so I'll do it! Thank you for taking the time to reply and for reminding me things happen but are okay!
This is by far the best interactive story i have played, and ive played a lot. Cant wait for more!
this is so good. i cant wait for further development of the characters and the story <3
I loved it oml its so good, I just hope theres a chance that poly can be a possible romance outcome bc gabe and lyth have me in a chokehold
🤫
So uh, I'm asking based on the romances does this have any sexual content?
Yes! This game has and will have more explicit sexual content :)
Duly noted, thanks for the quick response. Any estimation when the game will be finished?
I'm not entirely sure, I'm terrible at predictions and this is my very first IF lol
I do have a goal for sometime next year, but this is a goal and not something I'll confirm as life can be unpredictable. It could be sooner or could be later :')
I'm not quite sure I understand what IF means though as long as the story is interesting and character aren't one dimensional I'm sure I'll enjoy the final product. Either way good luck I hope there are no roadblocks ahead.
IF means Interactive Fiction games/books/VNs/html(like this one).
I highly recommend the Tumblr page: Interactive Fiction. They have rec lists and repost a lot of works similar to what you said you enjoy.
Show post...
one thing i'm worried about. is there child porn? cause i've seen some games that include children like the game called inheritance and they have child porn and im worried this is like that.
No, there is no child porn. I'm sorry if there's any confusion regarding age. Your character is an adult, you just get flashbacks/dreams of your childhood.
Show post...
oh thank god. and cute profile picture
Thank you! :)
Hi!
I wanted to say: I'm absolutely in love with your game. Previously only the Wayfarer engaged me so much, and believe me, that's a high praise.
Customization is super deep, and I loved how it's mentinoed throughout the game (if you have a piercing, MC will check it and so on).
Story is gripping and your character predicament is very interesting,
All RO are super-good. Like, anyone of them is such a great character. I hope there is some poly stuff, because picking one would be so painful((( But opportunity to have a fling is also very welcome,
I picled "all of it" option for my MC's vices, and it was really fun! Very realistic description. "Drink a bit, some smokes to stop myself from chewing nails. How about some sex xD!
I did not read your previous sex scenes, but the current one in chap 2 is super-hot. Like, "open the window to calm yourself a bit" level of hotness. So I think you mastered it!
I encountered couple of bugs about characters gender display and reported them via your bug reportng system.
Will eagerly wait for updates!
Thank you so much! This is very confidence boosting. And I got those fixed for next update :)
Will images be added? The lack of images just seems out of place here. I think it'd help to put at least one image for a character's appearance, and sex scenes could definitely use animations or sprites as the writing alone isn't doing it for me
I've been thinking a lot about character art but debating on adding it to the game since some people also like picturing them themselves. I'll probably do a poll later on to decide this but it wont be till after chapter 3. I'm also planning to do pictures of creatures and such. As for sex scenes, I never thought about it before, honestly. I'll take it into consideration, but no promises there. Thank you for the suggestions!
Are you new to the interactive fiction space? these kinds of games don't have animations and more story-focused, what your asking for isn't something these kinds of games do.
I don't find the sex scene enjoyable if there's no visual representation of what's happening, that's all.
I also personally believe it's just a matter of preference and that's okay! Thank you for reading though ^^
I mean, you could always put in the ability to disable character portraits. I think it's fine as it is, but wouldn't object to some visual stimulus either. That said, getting an artist can be tricky and expensive. Or even doing it yourself is a lot of work. Regardless of the choice, you've got a good piece of work and a following, so remember that it's your vision that matters the most here Al.
I had thought about a way to disable portraits but I couldn't find much when I looked into it. I definitely want to do this and will look further when I'm ready for it as I will most likely do the art myself :') Regardless, I appreciate your words, thank you!
I loved it--
Hello! I just started reading, and I love how customizable the Warden is, as well as how immersive the story writing is! I just wanted to comment to let you know about a bug, I believe? In the dinner scene with the viceroy and Lord Dilès, when I choose the "I wasn't always blind, I had a good mentor." response, it leads to the scene with the "Some people are born gifted, Your Highness." response. I just wanted to let you know, have a nice day!
Thank you, I'll fix this!
Pretty nice game! Want more… IDK if it's true or not in real phone because I just try to see it in responsive web design mode. When I enable the touch simulation, the game menu doesn't get toggle when it's click. It does appear when you hover over them, but in mobile they don't have hover effect right? Anyway, just want to mention that just in case I'm wrong, I apologize!
No worries! But no, on mobile you tap to open it :)
So now my main issue is how the fuck does one choose who to romance when everyone is written so bloody amazingly. I'm genuinely stuck! Lol this was such a great and pleasant read. And I'm so glad its ongoing and got updated recently. There is such great stories tht get abandoned its wonderful when i find one that is so nice and actually gets updated. This was really so great. I love leese even tho I love everyone right now lmao but he is definitely a front-runner. Love tht the sex scenes aren't all vague because that Normally is a huge disappointment in alot of stories. These are adults after all. So I quite enjoyed those. MC seems to have so much depth I'm excited to continue the story. Overall I just wanted to say well done and thank you! You made my day a bit brighter with this read. ✨️
Thank you! Your comment has also brightened my day :')
It's a damn good game, it has a pretty interesting plot and quite a lot of potential, actually. I'd say that my only complain would be the descriptions and length of the sex scenes, as the currently present ones feel slightly "dull".
Thank you! And I agree. I do feel like my sex scenes are lacking so far. But when I think of how I could improve it, I can't think beyond what's already written. It's definitely something I'm trying to improve here and there as I work on Chapter 3. If you don't mind me asking, in your opinion (and anyone else), what would make it less "dull"? Is it just the length and neeing more details? Maybe another perspective will help me. (Sorry if that's weird to ask)
Although a bit experienced with writing both nsfw and sfw stuff, I can't give a lot of advice, as styles may vary greatly. Still, I would give a more in-depth description of everything that can be described; some more "steamy" descriptions regarding the interaction between the bodies of the individuals involved in the "act", like, how they feel internally and externally (perhaps changing as per previous choices/interactions?), how the enviroment they're in affects their act and all that. I'd also recommend take a look on other works, take them as examples and improve your style's description/length.
I love, love, love it! 🥰🥰🥰
Aww, thank you! I'm so glad you do ♥
Quick question? Will flirting with more than one of them effect their opinion on you? I can't choose between Leese/Lea and Gabriel so I've just been flirting with them both. But I dont wanna do that if it'll cause a bad ending. :(
No, you won't get a bad ending from this. However, some ROs will react if you're flirting with someone else, but under certain circumstances. I don't want to say anymore to avoid spoilers though :>
Oh, this is just, wow!! Love the interactions with the ROs and the world building!! Can't wait for more :))
Save does not work. prompt() is not and will not be supported.
I'm sorry you had this issue. Did this occur when you tried to manually save?
Yes.
Yep, having the same issue!
I'm looking into the problem still but I'm assuming it's something to do with the save name input and certain browsers. I'll probably disable this feature for now until someone gets back to me on how to resolve it (I'm still learning things x.x). If it persists then it's something else. Unfortunately, I can't be certain as I haven't personally had this error occur.
I already have an update planned to release later today or tomorrow (PDT). I'm still testing and going over it at the moment but I'll remove it then. Sorry for the inconvenience.
Well, maybe it's because i'm using Itch.io app, but I've never personally seen this error before... I tried on Chrome and it worked perfectly!
Oh, thank you for letting me know! I haven't really used the itch.io app before. I'm trying a different macro but if that doesn't work then I'll keep asking around.
I found this
https://www.google.com/search?q=twine+story+prompt%28%29+is+not+and+will+not+be+...
Damn, Mc has immaculate rizz 🤣🤣🤣💀💀
Hi! I'm trying to play on the mobile but the game doesn't open, you could fix it? Thanks for the update!❤️❤️
Hi, I'm sorry you're having issues! I have tested on various mobile browsers and a couple other devices and has been working. I will look into the issue more. Could you tell me what it's doing?
oh, your update was wonderful, I had really fun to read more about the characters :D you did amazing!!
Thank you so much, I'm glad you liked it! :)
Was wondering do you have a Tumblr to follow? Loved Chapter 2 by the way Lyth is my fave so far
I do not. I plan on making one some time this coming week though :)
Awesome!
I really love this game, your writing and the characters are amazing!
Chapter 2 was seriously great, I am going to be patiently waiting for the next chapter. Thank you for writing such a good story!!
Thank you so much! ♥
WOW this is good!
This is really good. can't wait to see when more comes. Good luck with writing *smiles*
Okay okay, SO!
I'm a really big fan of IFs, but it's super hard to find ones that actually captivate my attention; much harder to find ones that do and are complete/still being worked on.
So, needless to say, you can imagine my joy when finding an IF that meets my criteria.
I'm genuinely excited for this story; the chapter was long (longer than I expected, honestly), the customization and choices are great (it's a deal-breaker if I can't be a little bitch to everyone I know) and, best of all, the writing is actually good!!
Anyway, long story short, I'm super excited to see what will come of this. Like, really excited. You have a gift, Alahria, and I went into rant-mode just to express that.
TLDR: This was great, keep doin' what you do!
(sorry for the long comment, i got really excited)
Thank you so much! I really appreciate this ♥
THIS is definitely a twine I'm looking forward too <3 I love the mc already and the lore so far is interesting as well as the characters and so many li options <3
I hope you enjoy meeting the rest of the characters :)
Oh I love this :D the characters are amazing, especially because DRAGONS :D and my raven is such a cutie pie <3 Gabriel is so sweet, Leese is interesting (childhood friend <3) you did an amazing job! I'm looking forward to read more!
Thank you! ♥
This is really good! A couple of minor typos here and there but nothing egregious, I can't wait for your next update!
Thank you! :)
I'm having trouble playing this on Android. The first page with the content warnings has the next button at the bottom but I can't select it because the menu on the left gets in the way.
Hope you can fix this.
Sorry for the inconvenience. I have re-enabled the menu toggle, please let me know if this helps!
I am so excited!! I loved the slow build up you made and the characters were fun to meet as well. (Definitely planning to romance all of them at least once)
Thank you! :)